Published August 30, 2011
"Ayo dumb it down."
You have heard this or atleast experienced this phrase in other words.
This phrase that hints at the idea that I need to express myself to your liking.
Whether or not I gain your approval seems to have been the issue.
This man-made issue.
To gain his peer's approval he will have to walk to the rhythm of their melody.
To gain self satisfaction he will have to conform his actions to accommodate their satisfaction.
"But ayo dumb it down."
Dumb it down to the point where you're life is like water in a container owned by everyone but you.
Shape shifting to whatever environment you are put in to.
"But ayo dumb it down."
Dumb it down to the point where your character no longer has a back bone.
And what you take a stand on no longer causes controversy due to the fact that your opinions have become their opinions.
"But ayo dumb it down."
Dumb it down to the point where your voice gets lost in the crowd.
Down to the point where no matter what you say you still don't seem to make a sound.
"Ayo don't let them dumb you down."
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I'm assuming Ayo is a name? In which case, you should have a comma after it. Whenever you address someone directly in writing, their name or form of address is set off by commas.
Ex. "Excuse me, Sir, but you dropped your keys."
That said, I there wasn't much particularly poetic about this. Really, the only reason I can see it being classified as a poem is the use of line breaks, but it reads like regular prose just broken up into lines at the end of every sentence with a dose of repetition mixed in. There's no real rhythm or description, and everything is completely literal.
It leaves me wondering why you didn't post this as a blog or expand upon it to make an essay/article/opinion piece out of it instead.
I love the idea of this poem! It speaks loudly to me
There were a few confusing points caused by grammatical error, such as this: "This man made issue." There should be a hyphen between man and made, making it man-made. The way it's written gives the wrong idea...
Other than that it was wonderful! Keep writing